What’s 2,800 miles between friends? Sunday night at the Golden Globes, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey managed to deliver a message of comedy and sneaky brand of comedy by cleverly hosting from opposite ends of the country: Fay in the Rainbow Room at the Rockfisher Center in New York, and Beverly in Poehler. Beverly Hilton in the Hills. The rooms were not completely empty: the first responders were seated at the table, masked and socially distant.
A clever split-screen and some clever video work made the broadcast feel as if they were side by side, including a moment where Fay saw Poehler’s hair. “The technology is great, you’ll never be able to tell the difference,” said Poehler. His exchange here kicked off the ceremony. It has been edited lightly.
Charges: Hello. Oh, Good Evening World. I’m coming to you Tina Fey from the beautiful Rainbow Room in New York City, where there is indoor dining and outdoor magging.
Poehler: Yes, and I’m Amy Poehler, here at the Beverly Hilton, District 7, New York, and it’s the 78th annual Hunger Games –
Charges: Golden Globe.
Poehler: Golden Globe. Now, Tina and I are hosting tonight from two different cities, but the technology is so fantastic, you’ll never be able to tell the difference. It is going to be effortless sailing.
Charges: You will not even notice. Oh, I’ve missed you, my love. I always knew that my career would end with me walking into the rainbow room on the pretext of talking to Amy. I thought it would happen later. But what an exciting night. All the big blockbuster movies that came out this year are nominated: “Parts of a Lady,” “Irish Goodnight,” “Mauricio Delway.”
Poehler: “Day Planner,” “Gronk,” “Ali G. Goes to Chicago.”
Charges: And we will honor all the fantastic TV shows we watched this year: American “Office,” the old “Colombo,” very unilateral news shows.
Poehler: Zoom Town Hall about his city remains closed, and of course, the Cranberry Juice skateboard man. He is going to skateboard for all the nominated songs tonight. how exciting.
Charges: Now, as usual, this room is filled with celebrities, but tonight, our audience on both coasts is made up of the first hot smokers and essential workers. How gorgeous We are very grateful for the work that you do and you are here so that celebrities can live safely at home.
Poehler: Yes thank you so much. Now, we know that you have seen a lot of crazy stuff at your job this year. But you haven’t seen that kind of stuff in the previous Golden Globes as we’ve seen. This is where the biggest stars of the world live on the front desk.
Charges: It’s usually like Meryl Streep, just Ankit, can’t even remember which film he is for.
Poehler: Brad Pitt always waving at me like: Amy, Amy. And I like, man, I’m working. Like it, not now.
Charges: And Oprah Winfrey wrote her name on the tablecloth in the pen.
Poehler: Quentin Tarantino crawls under the tables, just touching people’s feet. The point is to do whatever you want, because they do.
Charges: Those bitches are messed up.
Poehler: Yes, they are messed up. Okay, so since you guys are not usually here, let us tell you what it is. The Golden Globes are the Hollywood Awards given by the Hollywood Press Association.
Charges: The Hollywood Foreign Press Association is made up of about 90 international – no black – journalists who participate in film junkets every year in search of a better life. We say around 90, because some of them may be ghosts, and it is rumored that the German member is just a sausage that someone attracted a little face to.
Poehler: At the Golden Globes we give awards for films and TV, but I mean this year it’s hard to tell them apart because the movie theaters were closed and we watched everything on our phones.
Charges: So you may be confused which candidates count films and which are considered TV.
Poehler: Now TV is the one I watch for five hours straight, but a movie is one that I do not turn on because it is two hours. I don’t want to be in front of my TV for two hours, I want to be in front of the TV five times for an hour.
Charges: I think the rule is, if their fake teeth look real, then this is a movie. And if his real teeth look fake, he will be watching T.V.
Poehler: If British actors are playing the role of British people, it is TV; If they are playing the role of Americans, then this is a film.
Charges: If you like, Mario Lopez is surprisingly good at it, it’s TV.
Poehler: And if it sees Matthew McConaghy as a poetic drifter, then it is a car commercial.
Charges: We watch TV and movies differently. Like the films, it is called human trafficking, but on TV, it is called “90-day fiance”.
Poehler: And if it’s a play that has been turned into a movie, but you see it on a TV, it’s called Polvi, and tonight at least four of them are nominated.
Charges: Ah, congratulations to all Palovi. So, let’s take a look at what these European weirdos nominated this year. “Nomadland” is a film in which Frances MacDormand plays the role of a woman who travels in the desert in her van and hunts in a bucket. And my children were like, “Can we do this? Can we do something?”
Poehler: “Manc” is short for the name of the screenwriter for “Citizen Kane”. And this is the only thing they have shortened.
Charges: “The Queen’s Gambit” was James Corden in “The Prom”. “The Promo” surfaced at exactly the right time because so many teenagers didn’t get to go to their prom this year, so they could see James Corden and Meryl Streep to go instead, and it’s still fun, Right people?
Poehler: “Trial of Chicago 7” I think is the best of all “Chicago’s Trial” movies, but it’s still not as good as “Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow”. who’s with me?
Charges: The thing I like about Aaron Sorkin’s writing is that he can talk to seven men, but he seems to be talking to a hundred men.
Poehler: Yes. “The Undoing” was a sexy and dramatic mystery where Nicole Kidman’s coat feared her assassination.
Charges: “Soul” is a beautiful Pixar animated film where the soul of a middle-aged black man accidentally breaks out of his body and into a cat. HFPA actually responded to the film because they have five cat members.
Poehler: “Normal People” is an emotional show about two young lovers from Ireland and is seen in bed with your hot laptop on your crotch.
Charges: “One Night in Miami” is a fictionalized version of a meeting that took place between Malcolm X, Cassius Clay, Sam Cooke, and Jim Brown, where I agree that the topic of discussion was, how do we get out of Florida?
Poehler: Talking of “One Night in Miami”, Tonight’s nominees are great directors. Regina King for “One Night in Miami,” Chloe Zhao for “Nomadland,” Emerald Fennell for “Promising Young Woman” and two others, but we’re out of time.
Charges: “Emily in Paris” is nominated for Best TV Series, Musical or Comedy, and I, for one, can’t wait to find out who it is. “French Exit” is what I did in Paris “after watching the first episode of Emily.”
Poehler: Maria Baklova is a nominee from “Borut” tonight, which is huge for the Bulgarian community. Jim Parsons and Kelly Cuoco are the nominees tonight, which is huge for the Bezinga community.
Charges: what else? Oh, Sia’s controversial film “Sangeet” is nominated for Best International Flopperuni. I don’t want to get into it, folks, but this is real problematic. And Twitter is saying that Kate Hudson was a spokeswoman for Weight Watchers.
Poehler: Oh wait, you know, this is probably something we should have told you earlier. Everyone is quite upset over HFPA and their likes. Look, a lot of garbage gets nominated, but it happens, okay? This is like what he said. But many black actors and black-LED projects were ignored.
Charges: Look, we all know that award shows are stupid.
Poehler: They are all a scam invented by the Big Red Carpet.
Charges: To sell more carpets.
Poehler: We know that.
Charges: The point is that even with silly things, inclusivity is important. And Hollywood is not a black member of the foreign press. I realize, HFPA, maybe you guys didn’t get the memo because your workplace is a French McDonald’s rear booth, but you have to replace it. So here it is to change it.
Poehler: Yes, and waiting for that change. We have some good news: We’re raising money tonight, donating $ 2 million to feed America’s Kovid-19 response fund, and it’s awesome.
Charges: Here we go, friends. Are you ready Could this be an email all night? Yes.
Nancy Coleman contributed reporting.